I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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