Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
