I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I didn't notice because vodka
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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