I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
