She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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