I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Randomize
