my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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