so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
