Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
