Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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