Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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