ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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