I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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