Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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