My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
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finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
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Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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