i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I look better un-naked...
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
