If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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