I love black thongs
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Randomize
