She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.