Texts From Last Night

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  (757): View more from Virginia

  She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!

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  (757): She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!! http://tfl.nu/gype
  Replies (5) Good night (2304) Bad night (623)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.

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  (207): I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated. http://tfl.nu/fawe
  Replies (8) Good night (814) Bad night (2288)
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  (347): View more from New York

  so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"

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  (347): so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?" http://tfl.nu/d8rd
  Replies (57) Good night (924) Bad night (4573)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself

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  (864): Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself http://tfl.nu/j8cd
  Replies (66) Good night (6923) Bad night (1328)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.

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  (205): Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault. http://tfl.nu/rtqq
  Replies (20) Good night (1761) Bad night (4629)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?

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  (610): who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch? http://tfl.nu/432a
  Replies (38) Good night (4046) Bad night (1392)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.

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  (615): Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs. http://tfl.nu/w8zn
  Replies (16) Good night (4987) Bad night (991)
• Favorite

  (228): View more from Mississippi

  I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.

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  (228): I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too. http://tfl.nu/itca
  Replies (15) Good night (4303) Bad night (2517)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up

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  (859): Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up http://tfl.nu/e5lq
  Replies (10) Good night (794) Bad night (1759)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.

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  (716): i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents. http://tfl.nu/knds
  Replies (9) Good night (3699) Bad night (789)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?

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  (256): Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters? http://tfl.nu/uct5
  Replies (6) Good night (1156) Bad night (636)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.

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  (312): Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available. http://tfl.nu/293f
  Replies (6) Good night (611) Bad night (1088)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.

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  (902): I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at. http://tfl.nu/m09a
  Replies (3) Good night (680) Bad night (434)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....

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  (251): I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff.... http://tfl.nu/hxdt
  Replies (2) Good night (750) Bad night (274)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down

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  (203): and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down http://tfl.nu/cvrq
  Replies (0) Good night (195) Bad night (375)

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