worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
he shaved USA in his pubs
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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