I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
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This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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