ADVERTISEMENT

• (203): View more from Connecticut

  She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.

  Fav 15 3827 1145

  share tweet
  

• (516): View more from New York

  I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.

  Fav 89 6079 1746

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (914): View more from New York

  I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.

  Fav 7 4210 1194

  share tweet
  

• (702): View more from Nevada

  Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.

  Fav 20 5736 1312

  share tweet
  
• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (614): View more from Ohio

  just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.

  Fav 10 2796 1929

  share tweet
  

• (971): View more from Oregon

  I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed

  (425): View more from Washington

  Yeah, that sounds like my life.

  Fav 5 2417 984

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (386): View more from Florida

  Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.

  Fav 10 1039 1888

  share tweet
  

• (810): View more from Michigan

  Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot

  Fav 5 2160 967

  share tweet
  

• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face

  Fav 2 776 606

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (860): View more from Connecticut

  It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me

  Fav 3 986 676

  share tweet
  

• (214): View more from Texas

  In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.

  Fav 0 932 526

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (204): View more from Manitoba

  You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you

  Fav 0 740 502

  share tweet
  

• (563): View more from Iowa

  I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine

  Fav 0 437 240

  share tweet
  

• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.

  Fav 1 244 103

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.

  Fav 0 111 177

  share tweet
  

Randomize