small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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