i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
