Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
