you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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