i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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