Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
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thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I love you.
Bad choice
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