Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I want to be your penis for a week.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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