so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
