Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
