omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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