ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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