I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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