Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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