she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
it's like iHOP with fire
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize