True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
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I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
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I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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