bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Randomize
