dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
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