Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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