just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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