How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
