U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
she peed on how many people?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
