Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I don't think brook has ever known best
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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