HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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