He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
this is an emotional support booty call
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
