no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
