If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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