She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
