You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize
