I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
i think im in europe. pls send help
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
