You don't have asthma, your pregnant
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Randomize
