i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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