We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
