Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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