We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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