it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
