I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
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Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
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It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I have post one night stand depression
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