I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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