discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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