THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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