would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
