You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Randomize
