Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
We need a shit load of segways right now
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
