i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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